The dumbest military rules


Keep off the Commander’s grass! Everyone in the military
has heard this, but why? Now, the military loves
its rules and regulations. There are books and books and books filled with governance on everything from how to dress to how to stay alive. It’s a good thing even if it
is really obnoxious sometimes. The military is supposed to be a standardized, uniformed,
disciplined unit, after all. But there’s always someone
who takes it too far. By the way, I’m sure many
out there will have trouble distinguishing critical
thinking from complaining and you’re gonna comment about it. Go for it, feel free to call me a millennial snowflake while you’re at it. But let’s be clear. This is not a video about why
we should break the rules. It’s a video about why
we should change them. Let’s talk about dumb military rules. Starting with: Don’t walk on the grass. Now, for all of you civilians out there, if you’ve never been on a military base, there are walkways and there is grass. You walk on the walkways. You do not walk on the grass. If you walk on the grass, very bad things can and will happen. I once saw a guy get ripped apart because he stepped off the
walkway to tie his shoe. He made a logical choice
to not block foot traffic and correct a safety concern and some First Sargent
took it upon himself to stomp over and start
screaming at the guy for walking on the Commander’s grass. This was not a training environment. This was just a guy going about his day. The military doesn’t really issue explanations with their rules, so there aren’t signs saying,
“Don’t walk on the grass and these are the reasons why.”. As a result, everyone
has a different reason why troops can’t walk
on the grass on base. The consensus seems to be
that it’s just unbecoming, maybe even that taking
a shortcut is symbolic and antithetical to military
motivation and commitment. But there’s also a “Shut up and color” mentality in the military. Follow orders and don’t ask questions. I get that troops need to
follow orders during combat. We also need troops to be problem solvers, critical thinkers, and, I don’t know, confident, mentally sound human beings. Which leads me to another dumb rule. This one really pisses me off. Regulating ear and eye protection while standing in formation. You know why humans wear
earmuffs in cold weather? You can develop frostbite in
40 degree Fahrenheit weather depending on the wind. It’s called windchill, (bleep). So let’s say it’s, oh, I don’t know, zero seven hundred on a
January morning in South Korea with an average temperature of 15 degrees where even if the wind is only
blowing five miles an hour, you can develop frostbite
in under 10 minutes. And you’re standing in formation waiting for some general
to show up for the Fun Run and your Deputy Squadron
Commander yells at you for wearing ear protection and says you’re a disappointing
officer and a bad leader. Well, you know what, Colonel? You’re a disappointing
officer and a bad leader because you don’t take
care of your people. Sorry no one else brought earmuffs and we weren’t all gonna
look the same for the General who wouldn’t have even noticed. I get that standing in
straight lines is an ancient, if antiquated, thing
for the military to do. So why not just make it mandatory to protect yourself outdoors? The bottom line is that it
is dumb to reprimand someone when there is no
legitimate downside to it. There has to be some flexibility when it comes to the military environment. For example, when a Marine
General was put in charge of a fictional Iran in a 2002 exercise, he fought dirty and he won. The tactics he used essentially predicted the modern insurgency
our troops would face in Iraq and Afghanistan. But, rather than learn from the exercise, which potentially could have
saved thousands of lives, the military threw out the results because he didn’t follow the rules. I’m still mad about that one. We have a video about it, by the way. Link is down below. Next up: Keep your hands
out of your pockets. – What are you doing, playing
pocket pool there, son? – According to the Navy, while in uniform, it is inappropriate and
detracts from military smartness for personnel to have their
hands in their pockets. You know what detracts
from military smartness? Cold hands. But Shannon, you could wear gloves. – Maybe you should wear
these extra gloves. My hands are starting to get sweaty. – Well, it’s not that (bleep) cold, okay? It’s just kind of cold. But on a lazy Tuesday afternoon
in the middle of Oklahoma? Why not, I say. Why not? But Shannon, how can you win wars with your hands in your pockets? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe ask Chesty Puller, Curtis Lemay, Black Jack Pershing, Audie Murphy, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Smedley Butler, Billy Mitchell, and Douglas
mother (bleep) MacArthur. Oh, wait. Okay, I guess MacArthur is actually watching the Japanese surrender with his hands in his pockets. Fine, he earned that one. So to me, if you stuck around this long, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk about why I got out of the
military. (sadly laughs) Check out our merch! (military drumming)

100 thoughts on “The dumbest military rules

  1. This Marine general didn't play by the rules when he wargamed a fictional Iran against the U.S. and won: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9b1DG86a4k

  2. The concept of a "fun run", is a joke. You usually only run for 2 reasons, chasing or running away. Ain't no fun involved.

  3. Questioning orders (regardless of how ridiculous) definitely builds a strong military. (*note* written in sarcasm font)
    The only orders that should be questioned; if they not moral, violate your oath, clearly violate code of conduct or other lawful standing orders.

    If you don't like the rules and regulations… Don't join!

  4. In our army we use track plans in order to move with less noise and present a low movement signature. Every one uses a track plan in the field, same for the barracks. It conditions you to utilise a track for its intended purpose. If people understand the rationale then they would be more accepting.

  5. If you can’t go through 15 degrees and you’r in the military, I think you should leave. Thank god I was in her majesties army in the UK, no one complained there, that’s why we haven’t lost a war in a very very long time

  6. Uniformity is the reason why these rules are emplace to allow u to know that everyone around u is trained to the same standard and keep themselves to that same standard it means that u can trust them more it’s to do with that trust and that discipline allowing u to perform better in the field and if u cannot follow the rules and maintain self discipline out of war then how can u in war time

  7. Love this host!!! Talented, charismatic and gorgeous t’ boot! Not quite sure about the frostbite at +40° F though. High wind, lose circulation, core temp drops? Maybe!

  8. Actually there is a good and historical reason for the "no hands in pockets" rule in the Navy . In the old tall ship days it was not uncommon for lines or shieves or even sails to drop or come loose unexpectedly if your hands were in your pockets they were not free to grab hold of the line or deflect the falling item protecting yourself and fellow shipmates. The same rule applies today on construction sites for the same reason. In the royal navy they would often have the sail maker sew the pockets on midshipmen dungarees closed to help them break the habit. This is why sailors will clasp the hands behind their back. It is also where the stand easy pose in the army comes from.

  9. U know the reason they "regulate" protection is so they look the same so they dont have theese snowflakes crying becouse someone else had glasses that u didint

  10. British army. Queens grass, shows respect and also shows that you can follow orders without question, hands in pockets looks sloppy and British smocks have hand warmer pockets which you can put your hands in, ear muffs and eye wear breaks uniformity

  11. Why you can't walk on the grass and other dumb rules. The mind control is to get you to follow rules and orders without questioning them. Then when it comes to murder, you will pull the trigger on some poor sap walking in his own home town minding his own business. Then when you leave the military, critical thinking returns and you turn the gun on yourself. Joining the US military is a very poor choice, regardless of the hype and superficial glory. You are a murderer, not a hero. The Lake of Fire awaits you. Repent before you shoot.

  12. I spent 11 years in the Corps (8 of them active… call me a slow learner) & I agree: time is better spent on appropriate training to combat our Nation's foes than upon silly-ass concerns over insignificant minutiae; & when obedience to insignificant rules outweighs common sense things can get bad (& troops lose confidence in the judgment of their "leaders").

  13. Rules are in place for many reasons. As for. The hands in the pockets, On a ship rolling with the waves if you have your hands in your pockets and lose your footing with hands in the pockets you can’t react fast enough to remove hands from pockets to catch yourself. In the Army or marines and on road March same thing as well as not being able to react fast enough to an ambush.
    I suppose the rules being stupid as you say, are part of the reason your snowflake azz is no longer active. HOOAH.

  14. They kept some stupid rules there to remind the solder to follow rules no matter how stupid they are.

    So that at times that matter, the solders will not ask stupid question and refuse to follow, or delay the action.

  15. If everyone walked on the grass there would not be grass, just dirt! It sounds like you were not that good! Our men are thought to think, that is why we win so many wars. You don't know what Mcarthur looks like! That was him with his hands in his pockets.

  16. In many parks in Germany there are signs to not walk on the grass. It is obvious that with thousands of visitors everyday the grass would die off from all the foot traffic. Military bases are no different. Thousands of soldiers taking the shortest route would quickly kill of the grass. Duh.

  17. Had my hands in my pocket, was ordered to take them out. I yelled ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR CHESTY…. ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME! And then had to run a 6 Mile Fun Run.

  18. Why stay on the path? and off the grass?
    Because for eons nasty things have been deliberately hidden for the unwary.
    More recently, landmines.
    Forgetting the reason for the habit, of keeping on the safe path,
    still leaves the habit that may save a life off base.

  19. Negative… Flexibility in the military environment is a no-go. You can't compare wearing cool guy shades in formation to combat strategy.

    The disciplines instilled by the regs carry over to having the disciplines of following orders in combat. If you question everything, you can't be relied on to do the right thing when it counts.

  20. How about Veterans who still control government facilities and use military tactic's to refuse people America's rights. Remember like RECYCLE. Meaning they will use people as bait in too dangerous situations for themself.

  21. Well with the amount of foot traffic bases and the areas they don't really want us on become wore down into a path and that looks crappy

  22. The point of Boot Camp in the military is to get rid of "I" and replace it with "We" and to intergrate discipline in recruits as well has toughen them up by making them deal with conditions that are uncomfortable because when you go out into deployment alot of thing are going to be hard and uncomfortable especially in war time. Plus wearing ear muffs does not look professional and i believe a conservative pair of sunglasses are only authorized when not in formation or other circumstances plus these people signed up for it if you cant handle you dont have to sign up everything the military does is for a reason you dont have to agree with the rules you just have to follow them also its safety hazard to not have your hands in you pockets aswell especially with those pants law enforcement officers are also told not to have their hands in their pockets or where they could be restrained since its a safety hazard and it looks unprofessional how are you going to be ready for something when you hands are in your pants and most people come out of the military better people because of its rules i know its a long rant but it had to be said

  23. Currently in New Zealand Cadet Forces. Army Cadets. One of our officers said if we see your hands in your pockets they’ll take your uniform and sew up all your pockets.

  24. From what I heard, the grass rule at least in the Army is because it’s to teach you to not use shortcuts

  25. I lived on a base because my dad worked there I was 7 I walked on the grass and a Sargent screamed and yelled at me and it scared me for life

  26. The dumbest military rule is…listening to Air Force Officers. Or anyone from the Air Force. Honestly, the so-called branch, needs to be eliminated and it’s air missions go to the Navy, and it’s support missions go to the Army.

  27. The military wasn't developed to complain rules the point is to serve and protect our wonderful country so toughen up a bit and follow orders and if that's a problem then maybe your not cut out for the military

  28. The reason they do not want you walking on the grass is there are a lot of people in the military and if one person does it chances are a few more people are going to do it and if you have too many people walking on the grass it will wear it out and leave their dirt spots which is very ugly

  29. Dude I hope u realize all the answers to why not step on the grass and all is to teach the troops respect for their CO’s that and the whole no earmuffs thing is for toughness if u don’t have that when ur names put on the contract and u don’t learn that from basic then maybe u should leave.

  30. Im an army vet and i agree with every one of those dumb ass rule and all the other ones yiu did not mention as well

  31. Teaching selfless discipline. Go through boot camp and you’ll understand. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and shows you what you can do when you think you can’t. Some people can hack it and some can’t. That’s another example of why things are done the way they are.

  32. We called him Chief Hot Pockets for his favorite peeve. What a wonderful moment when we caught him in return. The look was priceless. The reaming worth it.

  33. Just saying you said at the beginning of the video that the military has strict rules and then you start complaining that their following the rules to be respectful

  34. My great uncle served under MacArthur in ww2. Aperently MaCArthur was kinda an ass to those in his command, to hear him tell it anyways.

  35. 1. Everyone walking on the grass, kills the grass 2. You're issued a watch cap for cold weather, wear it. "silly-vilian" pink fuzzy earmuffs are not a uniform item. 3. You can put your hands in your pockets to retrieve something, you just can't walk around with your hands stuffed in your pants pockets.

  36. Funny you should mention the war with iran simulation, before pearl harbor their was also a simulation where a general was tasked with invading the naval port in Hawaii and he took aircraft carriers while staying off raider and invaded from the air and successfully defeated the defenders. Again, instead of learning they dismissed the victory due to him not following the rules…

  37. Point #1. If numerous soldiers walk on the grass, it kills the grass. It looks bad. Waste time and effort to repair grass. #2. Unit coehsion. If one wears ear muffs, all should wear them. #3 you CAN put your hands in your pockets: IN THE FIELD. Notice all the pic proof you provided all of those officers were all in the field or deployed. It really does detract from uniform when in garrison.

  38. Perhaps they should put signs on the grass that read "keep off the mines" or "keep off the uncleared area". It's not a bad habit to get people walking in the known good areas.

  39. So if this is for entertainment…Haha it was funny-ish, but if you got out partly because of these rules you definitely don't belong.

  40. Grass is not meant to be walked on… Thats why we have walk ways. The Army issues cold weather gear when it gets to a certain temp its mandatory you have it on. As for hands in the pocket part of the Soldiers Creed is "I am and expert and a professional." Hands in the pocket doesn't look very professional. Hell I was on a Coast Gaurd base one time seeing my sister and brother in law and they all had hands in their pockets…… It bugged me……

  41. Ear muffs. Wonderful concept. I had a blown ear drum in Basic at Fort Sill… the wind capital of the world, and in winter. Docs let me wear my pt black beanie with BDUs. Every damned DS on post would come right up… but I had that profile.

  42. Ever why guys like to deploy at times more than spent time in garrison? It's because on deployments, few people have time worry about trivial BS.

  43. Gen arrives, looks at his/her soldiers:
    “Why are my soldiers not wearing earmuffs!? I want my soldiers to hear my commands with healthy, warm ears!”

  44. If you don't like Keep off the Grass or ear/eye protection rules on military installations, then DON"T HANG OUT THERE. Typical Air Force whining.

  45. Back in the day…Black boots and black corfram dress shoes in 100* weather would make your feet burn. We would train in 100 plus weather with sleeve's down. Cold weather we would tuck our hand in the front of our pants when standing around. Even today 30 years later ,never walk on the grass.Ever been in a cattle car?

  46. I had to stop this because it is a very specific place and time that there would ever be any sign saying keep of the grass. And I served from private to colonel, all over the world. No where did I ever see any sign about keep off the grass. And stay off the colonel's lawn? Maybe in the 1800's. Not in this generation. And sunglasses? Look at the troops in Iraq. They are all wearing wrap-around sunglasses at all times. We had to wear tanker goggles in the Mohave Desert. I guess I am old. 81 is not old.

  47. LOL great video and you're right there are no rules in war how could someone break the rules if there are no rules LOL

  48. It's called something you lack, the word is discipline. Everything the military does is to train you to stay alive. The guy you claim is a critical thinker and problem solver for stepping off the sidewalk and tying his shoes, just killed his buddies in the real world. If you don't know this reason then we wasted a lot of money on you when we could of train a real soldier. You walk on a given path, and not the grass, because the grass represents land mines, booby traps, and other nasty surprises out there. Every soldier knows this that paid attention to what they are told. I stepped off the sidewalk once in basic traning, and a sergeant told everyone around me to lay down because I just killed them all. My next 14 years I didn't walk on the grass. It all comes down to discipline. If you can't take the heat or cold waiting a few minutes for your commander to come out, how are you going to survive out there for months at a time.
    Look up the word discipline, know it, live it, then maybe the guy next to gets to go home alive and not in a box, because all you do is piss and moan.

  49. U have no clue if you haven’t served, but I have to admit she does have some points. There were so many situations on my combat tours that we could have been a lot more efficient with less equipment and man power. Those are the only thing that really got under my skin plus the infamous “Hurry Up And Wait” WTF.

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