since you’ve been trained

Good evening complete strangers. It’s June
15th. Friday. Whew. It’s been a long week. I’m too
tired. I think I’m going to get my trainee. Hey there, complete strangers. Ha. I’m the
Wheezy Waiter. Bear… bear with me. I’m new. Ummm… yesterday I said if you showed me
nipple, you’d get a t-shirt? Well, here’s a nipple. It looks like I owe Mr. Josef Weber
a t-shirt? Whoa, no you don’t. Trainees, right? It looks
as though M. Josef Weber cheated by using computer trickery. There is no computer trickery
on wheezywaiter dot com. Wheezywaiter dot blogspot dot com. You know what I mean. You
went against contract, M. Josef. You get one demerit.
Today at work I had a trainee. It was awesome. When you have a trainee, the trainee does
all the work and you sit there and pick your ass.
And at the end of the night when the money’s counted…
280… 300. Oh my god, this is great. I haven’t had a job in two years and I have three kids.
Sorry. It all goes to the trainer. Sweet. I’m getting a whore.
Doodleman says something kind of silly: According to CNN dot com, People Magazine voted Matthew
McConaughey as Bachelor of the Year. I kinda expected it to be you. Comments?
I don’t care about that. I mean, some people thought it was gonna be me but it doesn’t
really matter. At all. What the hell’s he done this year? On IMDB it doesn’t even say
he did a movie this year. I’ve done ten, bitch! And I’m gonna done more! And movies are sexy!
Hey, I’m Matthew McConajay. I’m from Texas. USA.
But I don’t care about … But I don’t even care about stuff like that.
Br-br-br-br-breaking news Kelly Clarkson’s summer tour canceled
“In the craziness of the music business, performing is what I look forward to doing the most.
So it is really disappointing to me to have to tell you that I won’t be coming out to
tour this summer.” Yeah. That sucks. There’s no possible way
you can tour when you can’t sell out giant arenas to thousands of people. For a measly
110 dollars a ticket. Even if performing is what you really love.
Aw shucks! I wish there was a venue that would allow me to perform for under 4,000 people.
Nope! Guess I’ll just sit on my ass all summer. Hey! What’s Kelly Clarkson going to do for
money now? Maybe I should start training her at work.
Since you’ve been gone, I can breathe for the first time, I’m moving on, Yeah, yeah.
Thanks to you. Now I get what I want. Since you’ve been gone.
Oh my god. Well I guess that concludes the week.
I’d like to thank Sam for helping me film the tour of my apartment yesterday.
I’m gonna take the next few days off cause I’m tired. Expect something even more wonderful
next week. Goin’ to bed. Good night.

58 thoughts on “since you’ve been trained

  1. Anyone know why the date that Wheezy says is not the date this was posted on YouTube? Was Wheezy originally on YouTube?

  2. Do they not look at you weird when you go out in public like that? I wish you could video tape peoples reactions to your videos, or you in public…

  3. This is the first video I've had to dislike by you. You talk about nasty stuff and aren't funny, and don't wink or say that your coffee is done!

  4. wheezy-thon

    and of course there is no computer trickery on wheezy waiter! all the clones are real (they have a twitter, @WheezyClone)

  5. *******

    I am in the journey of watching ALL wheezywaiter videos. My journey has reached this video. This is video number -12-… 2:57 minutes of entertainment..


    How come it's June 15th and uploaded Dec 19th ???

  6. every time he misses a wink/ding at the end of his videos, i cringe a little inside. I just have to keep reminding myself, its only the beginning, its only the beginning!

  7. I am on a quest to watch all of the Wheezy Waiter videos from beginning to end. Two hours in, I'm here. 🙂 Only around 5 hundred to go..

  8. Ha, this seems like the first time he covers the news on his channel. I'm watching all the old videos to see how things start (Quiet Clone, Explosion Wednesday, etc.)

  9. You resemble (at least partially) Colin Farrell. I mentioned this to my wife and she had to run some "sophisticated" facial comparison software. The tests average 52% similar with one test showing 69% similarity! Thanks for doing the show, we enjoy your comedic timing.

  10. Continued…

    What I’m trying to say is, like many others, you severely inspired me in my own content creation.

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