Lesbian Boot Camp


(helicopter blades whirring) – Come on, move it! You call yourself a lesbian? Faster, faster than
your last relationship! Congratulations on finally coming out. Now it’s time for the real work to begin. Some of you have been dreaming about this moment since you were little, some of you have recently discovered that this is your calling. I see we have a gold star in the bunch. Recruit. – Ma’am, yes ma’am. – Show me your hand. – Disgusting! Ellen did not come out
on national television for you to Edward Scissorhands
an innocent vagina! I bet none of you even
have U-Haul on speed dial. – [all] Ma’am, no ma’am. – This is worse than I thought. (intense music) The ladies will thank you later for this. – (grunts) I haven’t sweat this much since the last Tegan and Sara concert. (licking) – Don’t question it, ladies, you’ll be thanking me for this later. Keep the eye contact, keep it! – I can’t, I can’t do it. – It is 9:00 PM on a
Saturday in West Hollywood. You have a date tonight. You want to make a good first impression. What do you wear? (alarm blares) (whip cracks) – [Drill seargeant] Okay, love that shade. I expected more from you, Gold Star. (intense action music) – (bleep)-ing bush. – Alright, ladies, this man
is trying to hit on you. What do you do? – Eh, I bet you just haven’t
had the right dick yet. (thudding, grunts) You’re too hot to be gay,
wanna come back to my place? – Just like vag-etarian! – My girlfriend and me
are looking for a third– (thudding)
(cheering) – Alright, ladies, you’ve
still got a lot to learn, but I think you’ve about
covered the basics. You deserve this. (clinking) – Ugh, it’s so bitter. – [Seargeant] You’ll get used to it. (intense, upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “Lesbian Boot Camp

  1. All these videos make me want a girlfriend (more than I already do)! Why is it so hard to meet girls that like girls!!
    Signed,
    Homoromantic Bisexual
    Christian girl

  2. only thing i found kinda offensive is the sign that says "no penis within 30ft of entrance" bc that kinda implies that lesbian dont like trans women

  3. “Disgusting! Ellen did not come out on national television for you to Edward Scissorhand an innocent vagina” Omg Im dying 😂My mom asked me if I went crazy because I was laughing uncontrollably 🤣🤣

  4. Yep because all lesbians are basically guys right? Good non-steryotyping buzzfeed. And you call yourself diverse….

  5. "Ellen did not come out on national television for you to Edward Scissorhands an innocent vagina!"

    BEST
    LINE
    EVER!

  6. Future war criminals in the battle of the sexes. Capture, interrogate, try, convict, and punish .
    Sewing closed the vaginas with Teflon thread will do for a start. More on this later.

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